We don’t always get to choose our situation. We often grow up in a world curated for us by others - our family and mentors, teachers, elders; the land we live on, the language we speak, the culture we are formed within all play a role in how we grow up seeing the world.
Then of course we get older. We can think for ourselves, and hopefully - find some sort of self propulsion that drives us to accomplish great feats - whatever that may look like like individually. Maybe we travel, move, explore; get a new hobby or dedicate ourselves to the pursuit of specialization in any one field.
I’ve always been a curious person, and it has taken me near and far. Over the years I have lived in 4 different countries, traveled through 30+, and picked up a lot of friends and lessons along the way. It hasn’t always been easy, and it hasn’t always been life-changing. However it has been educational, transformative and eye-opening, even as I continue to wander this earth, to know that I am always learning and growing and changing.
Growing up I didn’t feel well connected to people. For whatever reason, I felt the need to leave my home in search for more - which led me through many different experiences. I connected to many people around the world, accumulating friends and acquaintances - no doubt searching for a place to be where I felt welcomed, loved, appreciated and valued for my unique skills and perspective. Even still, I search, sometimes getting close; sometimes wondering why - but always continuing to pursue that which makes me feel closer to myself: the journey.
The journey hasn’t always been great, but it’s shown me more about myself than I would have known staying at home. The journey taught me I was a nomad through-and-through, and that many of the ways in which I was raised to believe in life and how we live it were not in fact, the ways that resonated with me at all. The journey taught me that I can change who I am as i see fit, and that others ideas and opinions only hold weight if I let them - something I never imagined possible before.
This past week I was afforded the privilege of being able to run in Chihuahua Mexico with a bunch of individuals from Mexico and the US. I am used to retreats, workshops, adventures and meeting people from all walks of life - however this was different. Never before have I chosen to do a running retreat, and no less, it was in one of the places I have always dreamed about running.
The journey has a funny way of teaching you. It connects you, tears you apart, and then offers something to you for your labours. It watches you and it rewards you when you keep working towards figuring it out. Self care and self love are endless pursuits that shift with each morning, and settle with each night. It is a never-ending process of growth, inspiration, shedding and moving through it. Just when we think giving up would be the best plan of action - something comes up to inspire us to keep going.
Admittedly I have been terrible about maintaining this blog. I have tried and failed; edited, changed, altered and forgotten it all together. For a long time I had so much and so little to talk about - let alone the ability to capture it on paper/in print. I think the greatest thing about continuing to move and shape our experience is that we can always revisit it - anything. We can take any opportunity and open it again; we can pick up an old book or idea and shift it into something new.
This past week taught me so much about myself in that I can start whenever I want. I can pick up old stories and I can throw them away; I can create a new story if I so choose - it is up to me.
The individuals I spent the last week with were curious and kind; loving, hard-working badasses who inspired me to shake off everything that does not serve me - and to simply choose who I want to be next.
People won’t always be life-changing and magical - but moments of time exist where magic happens between us. Curious and adventurous people inspire us with their light, and show us that another reality is possible. The more I travel, and the more people I meet I learn that we are all so similar in what we want from life - and that while our cultures or social worlds may seem different, they really aren’t. The more I travel, the more I learn about myself - and I am grateful for those individuals I collide with along the path because they teach me, as I am sure I teach them, that we are all just busy finding our way.
So go out. Find your people along the journey and know that they are waiting for you. Know that we are all just waiting to walk each other along - that we are all in search of love, sweat, tears, growth, laughter, adventure and magic.
Thank you all - my people near and far - and may this be a beginning for me. A refresh. A choice to let go, and keep going. To move forward.
For the journey.